Great stories, Juan JJ hunglo Bastard Goatse.
Um, last year, in the fall, my mother in law came down to Charlotte to give my wife a back bone to kick me out of the house. Now, I like my mother in law. She's an NYC Jew hippie Baby Boomer who smokes dope is and very, very funny, but she is crazy, and manic/depresive.
So, we sat around the Sunday morning coffee table with coffee, naturally, and politely discussed how I should need to move out. All was ok, until I said, "What about the long term plan? Like, Janessa having part of my 401(k) and pension in retirement? How will she survive?"
Anita, my MIL, yelled hysterically, "YOU ARE TALKING LIKE AN OLD MAN! Who thinks about that kind of stuff!?"
I was flaberghasted at that. I got up, said "This conversation is over. I'm talking to a brick wall here." Like, they both have no forward looking plans.
I left the house, drank myself silly at Applebee's got a 19 year old gal's number there, then walked across the street to secure the apartment I'm in now.
When I came back home, drunk as fuck. I called my mother in law Broom Hilda and told her to take a broom home back home to Michigan. I called her a test pilot at a broom factory, which I think is a pretty funny rip. She was so pissed off, she called the police. She actually dialed 911, for nothing. The hysterical idiot.
Cops came. I'm in my own house at this point where it's legal to be blasted. And they were cool, asking me if I needed to go to rehab, was I going to hurt anyone, and whatnot. I said no, just let me sleep it off. I said my mother in law just got under my skin. They laughed and left.
